Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Long Time No Write

So I've come to accept that I'm not a good blogger. Even though I think if I wrote more it would help me out, I just never get around to it. Hmmm.

Anyways, I'm back to trying to get my life on track again. I had a job but quit due to a lack of interest, I miss salon work more than anything. On the opposite end of that, I know I won't find any work like Burton's, so I'm afraid to put myself out there. But if I never try, I'll never know. I've also tried to get myself back on track for school but it doesn't look like that's going to happen either.

It's kind of frustrating to me, to know that I'm trying so hard just for everything to fight against me. Sometimes I think it might be easier to go back home to the job I love and school I know. But how do I live my marriage 2500 miles away form my husband? He thinks it's a good idea too at times, and I don't know how I feel about that. Part of me wants him to let me go, but another part wants him to tell me no, he wants me to stay.

We have issues, any relationship does, but I think this whole thing is just stressing out both of us. I also don't think it helps to have only one vehicle, leaving me stuck in the apartment all day long, with no outside communication. It gets very lonely, and he doesn't understand that. How can I expect him to? He gets that interaction, he's with people all day long. In the end, I just come off as a mean person because once he gets home all I want is his attention. I'm not needy, I'm lonely.. and there's a huge difference.

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